Farewell My Concubine

I thought the path I had recently chosen was a clear road... void of problems. I was going to leave the harem to be a lady of the court. I would spend my days working on art. Eventually, after my training as an artist was compete, I would then return to the sea...

Ah but alas... something happened that has caused me to put those plans on hold. Something occurred earlier... Patience said she caught Amosa dancing at a cafe in inappropriate attire while giving a lap dance to a slaver. When confronted, Patience said the girl showed her no respect.

Amosa claimed that Patience was also in similar attire... after going over the incident with Seren, we both decided that both girl's were at fault -- saving Amosa from any punishment.

I cannot help but feel a bit disappointed  with Patience. There are already issues about her being too strict -- and now this? In truth, I was hopping to leave the harem... allowing Patience to become the Valide. But now, I have had a change of heart. I will stay... and try to take the role of Valide. There is no doubt in my mind that she is not ready to lead the harem.

I am not sure when I will have the chance to feel the waves along my bare form... how I long for the seas. I wonder... why do we always long for things we cannot have.