In order to obtain the rare blues and violets I have traveled away from the posh palace of Ireem. Across the burning sands I have traveled, to a massive city to the north, Irahs. The streets are lined with vendors selling there wears. Everything from fine silks, fresh meats, and human lives are on display... ready to be taken by the person with the most coin in their purse. I am here to by herbs that can be ground into paints. I will buy a massive amount of Isatis tinctoria... the leaves can be used to make blue dye. Price, yet worth the cost. I shall spend an entire month's allowance. But in the end, it shall be worth it...
Here... I have already started to forget the troubles I once had. Maybe... I can also forget that I am a twenty three year old unmarried maiden... one who has no plans to marry or settle down. Now that I am on the path of an artist I can continue on my original plans... Once I learn enough from the court and from her highness... I shall return to the seas... I know those plans are a long ways off. Maybe -- even a few years or so away...
Until then, I focus on simply painting the beauty that surrounds me. I do hope Princess Lexie and Princess Page have time to sit for a painting. How lovely they both look in the style of gown made popular by the sultana herself... the ones with the trains that so elegantly glide along the cool marble flooring...
There comes a time in life... when we must all move on to new stations in life. And today... I have officially move on. The Sultana has accepted me into the court as a lady! I am no longer a concubine. No longer will I have to worry about Patience picking on Amosa for her attire... or worry about our now "former" Valide every time she randomly decided to take leave without giving prior warning...
Now, I am finally free to work on my sketches. I have already completed a rather charming work for the Sultana. I have another one I wish to finish for her. I hope to present it as a thank you gift for accepting me into the court.
I am not sure what to think about the harem now... I suppose they will be fine. Spending their days worrying over training and dress. Maybe I was not really cut out for such a life? After all... I only joined to help Seren. And now, she has plenty of help... so I am not needed, regardless of what she says.
And now.... I move into the brave new world of a court artist. I cannot help but feel a bit worried. Unlike most ladies, I have no plans of getting married. I wish to fill my life with art... so in time, I can forget about everything that occurred in the harem. Right now... I don't want to feel anything. I wish to feel... numb. I shall focus on another painting, because... I am not sad enough to try to drown my current feelings with wine.
I thought the path I had recently chosen was a clear road... void of problems. I was going to leave the harem to be a lady of the court. I would spend my days working on art. Eventually, after my training as an artist was compete, I would then return to the sea...
Ah but alas... something happened that has caused me to put those plans on hold. Something occurred earlier... Patience said she caught Amosa dancing at a cafe in inappropriate attire while giving a lap dance to a slaver. When confronted, Patience said the girl showed her no respect.
Amosa claimed that Patience was also in similar attire... after going over the incident with Seren, we both decided that both girl's were at fault -- saving Amosa from any punishment.
I cannot help but feel a bit disappointed with Patience. There are already issues about her being too strict -- and now this? In truth, I was hopping to leave the harem... allowing Patience to become the Valide. But now, I have had a change of heart. I will stay... and try to take the role of Valide. There is no doubt in my mind that she is not ready to lead the harem.
I am not sure when I will have the chance to feel the waves along my bare form... how I long for the seas. I wonder... why do we always long for things we cannot have.
So... I have decided. I shall take the path of a court artist. I plan on leaving the harem as soon Stella takes her wedding vows.
Patience will become the new valide. Until then, we have about four weeks to teach her how to run the harem. She's a brilliant woman, with a lot of wonderful ideas. I am sure she will do just fine. If only, she would not place so much focus on training. A few girls have even stopped visiting because they worry about being stuck in a class. Not that I blame them... I find teaching lessons a horrid bore... I can't imagine how it is to sit through a class. Ah, but I digress... as soon as Patience learns that there is more to harem life then training, I am sure she will be well on her way to being a wonderful Valide.
Even thought I have chosen my path, the ocean still calls to me. There are times when I still feel like leaving the palace all together... the merfolk have no official clan, and they lack a true leader. Now, I am not audacious enough to think I can lead the entire group... I believe I have enough skill to run a clan at least. Maybe then, I can be with a group of people who really accepts me for who I am.... instead of the people of Ireem's court... who expect me to act a certain way... conform...
I prayed to Kaiousei, god of seas... he granted my wish. My mer powers were sealed away in a charm... all so I could be human to fit into the court. Maybe... maybe after a year of artistic study, I will return to the sea?
I've reached a cross road in my life... and have been presented with three paths. The first, is to remain in the harem. Our Valide said when, Stella, our current Bas Gedikli, gets wed she will take her position . Thus possibly allowing me to take the rank of Valide. Unless... she gives the position to Patience... a rising and talented Kadin... if that happens I still have options. Two other paths.
The second path is to leave the harem to become a court artist. I am currently studying under Lord Kito. This will leave me free to pursue my art... yet... I continue to second guess myself. Am I really leaving for the thrilling and wonderfully dull life as a court artist... or so I can spend more time with Lord Kito? If this is true, I do not see this ending too well. Worlds over, people do things... take risks for love. Rarely do suck ventures work out. "Nothing gained nothing earned..." but I really do not wish to take such risks at this point.
I am not sure why I feel so damn pessimistic on the subject of love. Part of me yearns for that one special someone... someone I can always count on in times of need. The other... loathes the idea.
The third path is far more risky... leaving the palace all together with the hopes of trying to take a leader ship role amongst the mer people. I grow tired of hearing out our people are being chased daily... at times I wish I could take up arms and do more! I show those blasted slavers once and for all... If I take this path, I could lose everything. Again, I am not sure if it is worth taking such risks.
I suppose I have a lot to think over... I understand the words "Nothing ventured nothing earned"... but I worry if I risk it all, I will be left with nothing in the end.
The harem is steadily growing... day by day more beautiful young women are joining the royal harem. As a result, problems were bound to grow -- like a thorny weed. The threats hail from the undead, and one constantly drunk slaver. A few girls have been attacked while one rapped... knowing the threats and dangers there are still girls foolish enough to go out uncovered! I even caught a senior concubine! I fear one of the girls will end up kidnapped -- or worse. Sadly I am starting to see why the past Bas Kadin left the harem. It's starting to feel like... too much.
I am thankful that our Bas Gedikli, Stella is willing to follow all of the harem rules. I am thinking about asking Seren to allow us to carry weapons. Small dual daggers... something elegant. Or... at the very least, asking if Stella can also serve as a harem guard. We need to keep the harem safe, to protect the women within at all costs.
On a personal note... I grow rather tired of hearing about the undead attacks. The Countess Page has been attacked Three.. maybe four times sense I entered the harem. I believe one of those times she ended up rapped... the others all included some sort of brutal assault. Recently, one of those creatures broke into the harem... trying to get to her! It surely sends a bad message when someone of a high rank can get kidnapped so easily and so often. And now, because of the attack, the harem girls are fearful for their lives... I am not sure what to do -- which makes me nervous.
As I look out at the waves... I cannot help but contemplate leaving this land of burning sand. Even thought I will never admit this to anyone, I miss the waters... the feeling of freedom. I can only hope this need to wonder passes. Tomorrow is another day. I can only hope it is a day of peace...
There was an assassination attempt on the Sultana recently. I was on the courtyard when it happened. A crazed women rushed from the steps leading up the royal bed chambers. She then slashed wildly at the seated monarch... it all happened so fast. I was nearly stabbed because this woman could barely use a sword... her attempts failed -- and she threw a few black window spider's on the Sultana's lap. Two managed to bite the kind hearted monarch... luckily a herbal remedy was quickly made to stop the dreadful affects!
Try as I might, I just cannot forget that day. In the back of my mind I wonder what would have happened if her blade was just a few yards off... I should not allow my thoughts to drift to such dark paths. Surely nothing good can come of it.
To make things worse... the harem mother, Seren has ben kidnapped from the harem. The only thing left behind, along side a path of dirty foot steps was this note:
"you will not see Seren again, she is mine now, I have searched for many years to find a girl to satisfy my chain, and seeing this girls blue eyes was enough, she is mine do you hear? you will not find her... signed Jake"
I am so worried... this what caused Ava to leave the harem. I currently have mixed feelings about taking charge of the harem... yet on the other hand, it's something that I have secretly longed for ever sense I joined.. to be the Valide.
If the worst does occur, and Seren does leave the harem I hope to become the Valide. Patience is not ready. The trouble involving Lord Yayoo is proof that she is not ready to lead a group of concubines. I heard that the Sultana wishes to see them both. There is a good chance she will suggest that they wed. If this is the case, Patience will no longer be a concubine... but a royal wife. If the worst does happen I do hope she will be able to stay in the harem. *sigh* I suppose this is why a concubine should never fall in love...
Until Seren is returned to us I plan to have things go on as normal. Stella has been put in charge of an up coming harem event... and if she is successful it will be a wonderful promotion... and she will hopefully be are next Bas Gedikli.
There is a balance in life, of lose and gain. Sometimes when we gain something in life... another part suffers -- and there is some lose. I have experienced a great deal of both over the past week. I would not have been able to gain a higher position in the harem if Lady Ava had not left...
This new high position means I must give more of my time to assist new girls, not that I mind much. The only real trouble will be finding more Odalisques -- girls willing to stay pure. Personally, I would not be able to take such a trying role... hehe, I couldn't if I wanted to.
So far two new girls have joined the Harem. Patience is a fast study, and has already risen in the ranks -- she is now a fully fledged concubine. She is quite wise... only thing she needs to work on is polite filtration. The second girl, Wendy, also seeks to become a concubine. She is a very talented woman... kindhearted.
I have news of another lose. Shy is moving to the country of her new husband... which means the harem now lacks a head Bas but also a co-harem mother. Someone will be needed to fill her role. I hope we can find someone of her talents and beauty... I shall try to hold out hope.
And more odd news... the undead rained chaos in the streets. Their was even fighting on palace grounds. One such attacked a knight... yet one of the palace guards was able to arrest him. I am not sure what will happen next. I read that the two leaders of the undead were captured -- yet I doubt this will make the end of the war. In fact, I am sure it will just cause their followers to retaliate. I suppose that is what happens... battle is a never ending cycle. I am glad to be in the harem and away from all of that nonsense. Nothing good can ever come from endless fighting.
I awoke to the quiet serenity of the harem. I was too tired to write an entry, so -- here goes.
I worry... Seren is such a sweet person, I have no idea why all of these people are attacking her. It's not just men, but women as well! I read a report about Mebo attacking her, and another attack from a woman slaver. I am a bit unsure about the first one. Hmm... on second thought, the reason why Mebo attacked her was to get to Stollas. I swear... the sun bakes peoples brains!
Maybe the fact that I am helpless to actually help her is the real reason why I am upset? I might need to craft a small protection charm for her,
More bad news, Stollas has gone missing. And once again, I find myself unable to make a real difference. Looks like the only thing I can do is report his absence to Countess Page. A risky option would be for me to search the city myself... which is a bad idea seeing how the undead are currently going after anyone associated with the palace.
The rules of the Harem are going to be relaxed. We are now allowed to roam the palace. If we go out, we need to wear full dress. I rather like this idea myself. I just hope this does not invite more attacks. Rumor is the undead are attacking those associated with the palace. The head guard was captured the other night.
I do not regret anything... but times like this make me miss the calm dark waters of home. Perhaps making my life bloom in the golden cage of the palace will take a lot more effort?
Just a bit of good news... the image I sent in for that best in silks in silks contest won a first place spot! I wonder if my interview will get some good press for the harem?
It has been a busy past few days. I have bee organizing paper work left by the past Bas Kadin. I doubt anything will have to be changed, Ava left behind such perfect notes. Now, I will just need to work on training girls. There is not much to do... I have the courses set up. Starting slow with simply polite conversation and working up to a detailed class on massage -- basic pleasure techniques .
I had a few meaningful conversations with the Chief Eunuch, Stollas. I worry about him... he seemed -- dare I say tired, and stressed out? The poor guy has been through a lot over the past week. It seems as if the harem Valide, Seren, gets attacked every other day. Yesterday a woman broke in and tried to attack her... Stollas took the hit. And today, I read that Seren was dragged into the desert by another random woman. I have yet to hear from Seren about the more resent attack, but I assume Stollas was there to take the grunt of the assault. It honestly looks like I will need to rush that class on harem safety -- so far I I am the only member of the harem that has not been attacked.
On a lighter note, I cannot wait until more girls are accepted into the harem. It's such a charming place to live... owned by a very kind hearted woman, the Sultana, Zanlu. It's nice... not having to worry about being chased, or sweating away in the hot desert sands. I admit, things can be a tad quiet (at least when I am awake... ) Yet, I am sure it's something I will soon grow to love.
Ah, it has been yet another busy day in the hidden world that is the Sultana's royal harem. I've much news! Our dear sister Ava was returned to us... yet the story does not end there. Something must of happened during her brief kidnapping -- and now she has resigned her position as Bas Kadin (head concubine ). I also heard that she stole Stollas' sword... the use of weapons is strictly forbidden. If she did not leave by choice, I am sure she would have been politely asked to resign.
Yet, it turns out that this sorrowful gray cloud does have a silver lining . I have been prompted to head concubine! I gladly accepted the position ... with a heavy heart. I do hope I am able to fill the role -- to honor the role my dear sister Ava did so well.
And now, I will work on the task of trying to train new girls to become concubine.... I shall need to think of new and creative ways to accept new people. I am thinking about putting in an add in the Ireem Chronicles. Perhaps... I shall need to invite people to sell girls in. Truthfully, I rather loath slavery.... yet if it helps find friend talent... I shall do what I must.
The attacks against the other Harem girls inspired another "gentle" reminder. That we are not allowed to leave the palace without escort. I quietly scoffed at that. Each time I went out I managed to avoid getting caught. The main reason? Is because I am always aware of my surroundings . I suppose I can only blame their lack of real world experience. Most were brought up in a harem, and have no real idea of how the real world works outside the posh walls... or the cruelty of men. I, on the other hand, was not born in the harem, or in Ireem. When I worked with the Oiran I was taught out to deal with.. unsavory men. I know how to disarm a person with a silk fan -- hehe, something I will never tell my sisters. Surely they will frown at the idea. No matter, I hope to teach a class on harem safety. Having the harem mother kidnapped so many times is unacceptable.
More intruders... really not much else that can be said. One was a man who broke in earlier, the one who claimed to be a part of the harem. Thanks to Countess Page I know now what he really is -- a djinn. Go figure, I always heard they were prankster .
Once again I have found myself alone... no matter. With the other girls asleep I am allowed to return to my true form. With everything that has happened over the past few days, the silence is welcoming.
I arose to find that most of my harem sisters were busy elsewhere. Undaunted by the silence I began the daunting task of mending a few silks... finery I have saved for formal occasion. Just as I was in the middle of changing into another gown -- I heard voices, the sounds of others from upstairs. My cheeks flushed at the thought of someone seeing me as I changed!
I did not waste time in putting something more decent on, and hurrying upstairs to the upper level of the harem. There they were... to lovers standing on the balcony. They each began to tell me a series of what I presumed to be lies. The girl said she recently joined the harem, but if that was the case Lady Seren would have sent out welcome scrolls. She then tried to prove that her male companion was an eunich, and tired to pulled down his pants. Moved closer, shrugging off that advance, inviting me to have a look -- I refused.
"Until you get official invite from the harem mother you are not suppose to be down here? Do you not understand... that I can get in trouble? Do you ever care?"
They complied before I had to call for the Harem guard. he girl spouted another lie, claiming that Lady Ava invited her. I countered by saying she needed to have her present.
Once they left an eerie calm fell over the harem. Images of men in noir clocked played before my mind's eye. Visions of undead solders dragging me down to the depths ...
The vision ended just as quickly as it began.So shaken was I that... I ended up running to the balcony. I slowly stood on the sofa... gently pulling myself up into the slender stone railing with the aid of a hanging plant. I stood there, looking down at the waters. In the back of my one I wonder if I fall from this height, will my body feel it? Or will... my other form take shape just as I hit the waters edge?
No matter, I don't have time to allow my mind to dwell on such dark topics. Sound of the Countess entering the Harem prompts me to hop down from the sofa... Our conversation was brief. I mentioned the two break ins, and nothing else. After, she left for a walk... in order to brighten my mood a bit I decided to work on a dance. Here's hopping this works, or I might need to sneak out for something stronger.
There was yet another break in -- this time by a Bedouin. What's worse he tried to con some visitor into thinking he was a king. When that did not work he tried to con one of the Harem girls into going with him. Thank heavens he considered my skin to pale for his liking. No mater, it was nothing the Harem guard could not take care of.
I have not been in the harem long, yet I am starting to get used to the odd intruders. Calling the guards has become like second nature to me. Some may complain... yet I would never enter their private residence and then harass their family members. No matter, I shall continue to call the guards on whom ever breaks into the harem. I have no sympathy for those who ruin the tranquility of a private residence.
I have something rather amusing to report... I secretly stepped out of the palace to enter a dance contest. I ended up coming in third, yet I felt proud at myself for entering. I probably would have placed higher if I was more willing to show off more of my body to the mostly male judges. No matter, I shall do so the next time...